Yesterday I was pointed to this post on ReadWriteWeb, suggesting that Facebook should acquire Apture next. Being an Apture employee, I would like to take some time to fuel the rumormill with these COMPLETELY TRUE (read: false) rumors:

Unsubstantiated Rumor #1:

A shadowy figure in a black Northface jacket has been spotted lingering around 539 Bryant St in San Francisco

Unsubstantiated Rumor #2:

Apture's CTO is seen regularly in Palo Alto

Unsubstantiated Rumor #3:

Apture employees were issued company Adidas sandals last December

Unsubstantiated Rumor #4:

Mark Zuckerberg and Tristan Harris talk regularly at meetings of the Bay Area Strip-Parcheesi Club in Redwood City

Unsubstantiated Rumor #5:

Apture is hiring aggressively in order to bump up their acquisition price