Why not use sandpaper? 11 Dec 2011
miscellaneous opinion

My wife occasionally gets annoyed with my constant analysis and experimentation with just about everything. I have this incessant need to find the try to find improvements in everything that I do. For example, when boarding my train to head home in the evening, I board at just the right place such that I exit at the base of the stairs upon arrival. Not that big of a deal, but I like to walk stairs two at a time and all getting stuck behind all the slow tiny people was infuriating.

I’m all about constant improvement, whether it be for speed, quality, etc, you get the point.

With that said, here’s a recommendation I have for you:

Cottonelle. Your butthole will thank me.

Next time you find yourself thinking “good work toilet paper, I think we’re done here.” Use one or two of things and enjoy realizing how long you and everybody around you has been walking around with dirty asses.